Kinda stressed about work these days.

I used to be able to cope better but I don't know what happened to me. These few days I kept ranting about work. It's overwhelming but I keep telling myself it's good exposure and I can learn more from doing all these. But when deadlines get too tight I'm just :'( Am I too inefficient? :(

It's been awhile since I went back to work on a Saturday.

I remember doing that once or twice when I first started working because I was so overwhelmed with work. Super unlucky that time! Despite OT-ing on weekdays I went back on weekends too. My colleague would scold me for OT-ing when I just started work but he doesn't understand how much work I have since we are from different departments. Moreover I was new and took a longer time to figure things out.

Then I stopped doing that because I got back on track and work isn't that urgent anyway. I personally don't like the feeling of having so much backlog. The to-do list just gets longer :/ Now I've so much backlog that I think I need to work on weekends again!! I don't like the feeling of working late and I rather go back on a Saturday!

Oh and I don't like being back in office alone. It's also awkward when I see someone else whom I'm not close with. I don't think it's a good thing to be seen on a Saturday. Shows your inefficiency on workdays?

I hope that is my efficiency level would be 200% so that my backlog can miraculously disappear! But of course not at the expense of quality. I CAN DO THIS!

It's been a while since I blogged.

Feeling so down/disappointed that I really need some space to rant.

So it was my very first duty today. I'm feeling really disappointed with myself because I could have done so much better. I have no idea what got into me, I was so careless and I didn't put in much effort as much as I wanted to. Not sure if I was too nervous.

On hindsight I really think I made quite a bit of mistakes. I hope it will be nothing serious. :/ Or someone would tell me it's okay and it doesn't matter. CROSSES FINGERS. I'm really quite worried and can't stop thinking about those 'mistakes'. :(

It was an eventful day but I really learnt alot. In fact I already can't wait for the next duty because I want to improve and do much better!

I shall just hope for the best now and need to stop brooding over this!!